After reviewing over 40 hilarious stories we can tell you one thing—our bellies ache! Thanks to everyone who submitted a story and a special thank you to the cats that inspired them! After rolling on the floor in hysterics and letting out more than a few cat-kles, we have picked the winners! Giggle, giggle and drum roll please …
When my sister and I were young, our parents took us on vacation to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Our seal point Siamese, who only ever really loved my mother, was along for the ride. It was a hot August day, with the Valiant rolling down the eastern seaboard headed for Nag’s Head. Dad was driving with sis behind him. Sandy’s litter box was below her feet, which barely dangled over the edge in their beat-up navy Keds
The windows were open, pre-air conditioning, and we were relatively quiet, given our years and tendency to squabble. Then Heather dropped her doll. And the whining—which my usually patient father abhorred—began. With one arm on the wheel he reached behind him with the other and felt around in the box for the soft doll—when he finally snagged her, he tossed her to my sister and tugged his arm out of the too small space between the door and his seat back. He reached up and wiped the sweat from his forehead and then gasped. My mother realized what had happened and started to laugh. She was laughing so hard it surprised both of us!
“Knock it off Shirley and find me a tissue!”
Dad had smeared cat poo on his forehead while driving down I-95 in August. And my mother was laughing too hard to see into the depths of her handbag for a now priceless used Kleenex. Did I mention Sandy only ever really loved Mom?
This story involves not only a funny cat tale, but cat litter as well.
Some twenty years ago my cat Tosh and I found our selves on a relocation road trip from AR to NM. Not giving the litter box thing much thought. I just put him and his box in the back of the old S-10 Blazer. I figured he could just use it at his leisure. About half way into the trip I noticed he had not used the box at all. He just slept. No big deal, he must have a strong bladder. But that soon changed. Half way across Texas he started wandering around the truck. Into the box, out of the box, into the box, out of the box. As we approached the NM state line I realized I had to do something for my now frantic, panic stricken cat. Suddenly I see a rest area. “Perfect” I think to myself, what could be better, New Mexico has sand for miles, the litter box of the world. But NOOOOO! After finding what I thought would be the perfect spot, all he did was dig and cry dig and cry. Left with no option I had to find a way for him to use his box in somewhat familiar surroundings. Eureka, the Men’s room. With the litter box in one hand and him in the other we made the mad dash up to the facilities. Soon we were inside. Relief at last! Oh but it gets better, just as I was watching him gleefully relieving himself I hear A very perturbed, very Female voice say to me. “Excuse me sir, but I think you and your cat are in the wrong rest room. In my panic at 3:00 am, I failed to notice the sign on the door and the lack of urinals on the walls. She just watched with her hands on her hips as we apologetically slipped off into the weeee hours of the morning.
Let me introduce the kitty mafia that runs my house – Fat Lenny the brains behind the operation, Indigo the lackey and muscle, Sherwin aka the Water Boy who guards the fountain and Wonton the youngest looking to be a made kitty. The mafia kitties are a sneaky group who like to rub their escapades in your face. I never actually saw this happen only the aftermath so you can use your imagination. One morning I open my bedroom door to find an empty 3 lb bag of food in the hallway. You know how they draw dynamite explosions? That is what the bag looked like. It was essentially turned in to a giant bowl. I imagine the scene went something like this… Lenny is perched on his ottoman while the other 3 look up at him. He declares that they have gone much too long without a heist and he has the perfect plan. “I will open the cupboard where she hides the food. Indigo and Water Boy you drag it into our room and make sure it is out of site. Wonton you listen at her door and give us the signal if you hear her coming. Once the mission is complete … WE FEAST!” A few days later when the bag has been eaten Lenny says, “Let’s put this by her door and see if we can get a refill.” Not this time boys we are going on a diet! Ha-ha I usually get the last laugh.
Congratulations to our top three stories! We hope that everyone enjoys them as much as we did. For those that won please get in touch with us by emailing Drew at email@example.com. He will take care of getting you your awesome purr-rize! Also, if you can send him a photo of that cat or people featured in your story he will include it in next month’s newsletter!
— World’s Best Cat Litter™